Why are you so complicated God, or have we made you complicated?

How many disagreements are there about you and your nature; about your role in history you’re your role today? I could sit and discuss all day the issues surrounding who you are.

How many people have been hurt by your people making judgements based on their own understanding of you? Why is that? What have we misunderstood?

We’re all guilty, we all think our own understanding of you is better than everyone else’s, as if we somehow have a greater knowledge; grasping at our own deity.

We say we are open and inclusive; but we still have lines to be crossed and views to be offended which exclude others. Where is Jesus in that?

How have we become so unattractive? Where is the joy and hope found in your gospel, your resurrection? If it’s all really real, if it all actually happened then it’s mental, absolutely phenomenal.

Has our passion and joy for you been lost because we’ve lost our view of who you are? 2,000 years was a long time ago, are you really coming back? The early Church expected you so soon after you left.

What should your church look like in today’s society; what should our image be? How are we to stand for you? From where I am stood I can feel so easily overwhelmed by the chaos and disorder of our world. The problems of the world are the same; selfishness, there are just different mediums to facilitate them.

We can be so scared of standing up for what we actually believe in, in case we offend someone else and draw attention to ourselves. I think often we are too scared to stand up for you because we don’t really know who we’re standing up for.

How do we love our neighbours; most of us mistrust strangers and warily avoid them instead of acknowledging even their existence, never mind how we can love them.

I know you’re real, I know you are acting today, but what does that mean? There are so many Christianise statements and strategies to get to you, but surely that’s not what you’re about?

But amidst my wanderings there is one thing I cannot deny. When I am in your presence, (whatever that means in theological terms, not a church service or meeting) but in your presence I feel like none of these questions matter. It’s not a case of being naive and turning off my intellect, I know the questions and doubts; but it’s the most alive I have ever felt. Nothing can take away that feeling of you; none of the arguments or doubts have weight when I feel so overwhelmed with joy and security.

So why do I allow myself to forget this feeling so quickly and be overwhelmed by everything else?

Written by Kit Powney // Follow Kit on  Twitter

Kit is part of the campaigns team at Christian Aid in London. She sees seeking justice as central to her faith and following Jesus and loving her neighbour. She love running and laughing, preferably not at the same time.

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