I was sitting with some unmarried friends a few nights ago and the subject of sex came up. We all know there is a lot of talk in the media about Christian views on sex and we know that the Bible talks about the dangers of sex outside of marriage.

Young Christians in relationships are very aware of what they should and shouldn’t be doing and that in God’s perfect blueprint, sex is an amazing blessing that should be enjoyed within the safe space that a loving and committed relationship brings.

But perhaps this has been played out too much?  Is the negativity around sex before marriage making our young people scared of it?

I remember my wedding night when I was 21 years old (six years ago – which feels like an age now!).  I remember that all of my husband’s family were staying in the same hotel as us. I remember that the next day I had to go to my parent’s house to open presents the day after the ‘big night’. I remember all the pressure. I remember going over all the things a wife should and shouldn’t be in my head, as I attempted to unlace my fancy wedding dress and remove all the hair slides from my complicated hairstyle. I was happy, but yes – I was scared.

Would I be good at it? Would I like things that I shouldn’t? Would I be able to be the best wife for my husband? I was tense, nervous and confused.  And it probably wasn’t the perfect, fairytale night that I had prayed for…..

My unmarried friend said that she was so scared of sex and how to do it that she wanted to marry someone who would be ok with not having sex on their wedding night. Is that what we have made sex? Something to avoid? Because that’s not what it’s like in the Bible.  There is a whole book devoted to the joys of sex!

So let’s open up the communication lines, let’s start some open and honest relationships – young married people telling young couples and single people that sex is something to celebrate rather than hide from.

Why not use this as an opportunity to share your own ‘sex story’ and break down some of those barriers that make that fear rise up in our young people. They will thank you for your honesty someday…..

Written by Rachel Ridler // Follow Rachel on  Twitter // Rachel's  Website

Rachel Ridler is a young mum on a mission to share the good news of Jesus in her local community. With a heart for hospitality and good food, she shares her ideas, thoughts and stories on her blog along with the many funny twists that living with a strong willed one-year-old brings...

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