Well 2015, you’ve been quite a year. We know that you’re well and truly done now, and some may say that it’s time to move on completely, but we feel it’s worth taking one last glance at the highs and lows of this auspicious year in Christian culture, if only to vow NEVER AGAIN. (See points four and six.)
1) The man bun appeared in church.
Opinion is divided among the threads team about how attractive the man bun really is. Christine has always liked long-haired men, so she’s not that bothered by it – although she would prefer it if men just let their tresses run free – but no one else is convinced. The fact that the clip-on man bun is now a thing though, makes us wonder if this trend needs to die out gracefully GO BACK TO THE CHASM FROM WHENCE IT CAME (oops we let Alex onto the keys just then, sorry guys). LET ME AT THESE CLUMPS OF HAIR MASQUERADING AS STYLISH WITH AN AXE!!! (Sorry, that was Danny this time.)
Never mind, let’s compose ourselves, because the most important task of 2015 was…
2) Finding the perfect Bible for your Instagram photos.
Holy Scripture has many uses. And Bibles can be pretty. So lay one down in a nice grid with your journal on your whitewashed floor – maybe include a succulent plant too, because #goals – and presto! Christian Instagram GOLD. But it’s pretty inoffensive, so we’ll let this trend pass us by with just a knowing smile. What we are pretty happy about is the brilliant news that…
3) The Bieber became a believer.
Or came back to faith. Basically, there’s this really great interview with Zach Sang where Justin Bieber talks movingly about his journey to rock bottom, his rediscovery of God, and the faith that saved him and gave him back his purpose. (See what we did there?) But Zach really missed a trick, because one thing that he really should have asked ol’ Justin about, is his opinion of the overuse of…
4) Hashtag blessed.
Aggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggh. JUST SAY BLESSED!!!!! Or acquaint yourself with a thesaurus so you can use other vaguely Christian-sounding words in your Instagram captions. Or you know, let the picture do the talking? Anything other than this. Please.
Unless of course, you’re talking about how we felt when…
5) We won an award.
Ok, we had to put this in somewhere. We were pleased as punch to be the winners of the Premier Digital Media Award for Multi-Author Blog of the Year. Here’s a photo of our editor, Amaris, holding the award, as evidence. What we don’t need to see evidence of, however, is…
6) That photo update of your pastor SMASHING IT onstage.
Ok, so it was a good sermon. And you like your pastor. Maybe you’re even related to the pastor. And maybe they were delivering the most sin-stomping-devil-chasing-hallelujah-chorus-style sermon you’ve ever witnessed, but still. Restrain. Yourself. Maybe those 10 minutes spent trying to choose between Amaro and Hudson would be better served by actually listening, hmmmmm? You’d be better off trying to…
7) Periscope.
We got into this at threads, big-time. Apart from Christine, who just called it ‘Telescope’. We periscoped live from our hustings in April. Amaris periscoped, then wished she hadn’t and wondered why it wouldn’t disappear instantly, like Snapchat. Alex made like we suggested and periscoped from a church event – and Danny watched it. Yep, it was a big year for us digital natives, especially as our biggest competition is a puddle. If only we had social media experts like…
8) The Kardashians, who this year, out-Christianed all the Christians.
This point is largely being made because Amaris says that no list is complete without a Kardashian on it. But it’s true that in 2015, the Kardashians took their love of quoting the Bible on social media to bold new heights. And if that wasn’t enough, Kim and Kanye also had North West baptised in Jerusalem, in a church said to be built over the site of the crucifixion. If that ain’t a win, we don’t know what is. Happily, when it comes to online holiness, we were able to take some subtle pointers from…
9) Christian Girl Instagram.
Ok, this was uploaded at the end of 2014, but believe us, it has never felt so relevant. With such helpful Bible-highlighting tips as: “You’re always gonna want to stay away from common verses like Jeremiah 29:11 or John 3:16,” and straight-to-the-point home truths, like: “What’s the point of having devotions if no one knows about it?” Christian Girl Instagram was there to point us all in the right direction. Which was mostly the reason people started…
10) Leaving the internet.
People are always leaving Twitter – officially it’s called a ‘flounce’ – and no one bats an eyelid. But this year was a big one for blogger departures. Christians, as we all know, are quite partial to going all monastic and embracing slow movements with a fervour usually only displayed at Wednesday night healing meetings. So this is more of a prediction that the tiny ripples of 2015’s ‘blog-bath’ will become a mighty wave in 2016. Good thing we’re all still here, eh?
Did we miss anything? Tweet @threadstweets the trends you noticed in 2015, with the hashtag #Christiansin2015.