Hanging on

I’m a trainee teacher.

You probably know a teacher who has complained in some way, whether this is to do with the workload or the students themselves. I can tell you with the seven weeks of experience I have gained that there is a lot of scope for moaning.

The one thing I consistently moan about is the training. I’ve always disliked it, in whatever capacity, because my head tells me: “I don’t need to know half of this stuff, this is wasting my time.”

I tell myself I don’t like it because of its irrelevance. But when I stop and think, it’s actually about the fact that I don’t like not being good at something and having to rely on someone who is. Every week I meet with my school mentor, who tells me what went wrong and where to improve. I really don’t like it.

It’s not because I think I’m too good for this so nobody should tell me how to do it, it’s the realisation that I have weaknesses.

I send a Bible verse to a friend each day to encourage her. The verse is picked at random by whatever appears on the app as ‘the verse of the day’. On Monday, the verse completely put into context my whole issue with teacher training: “You’re blessed when you’re at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and His rule.” (Matthew 5:3 MSG).

I know that my giftings suit teaching, but there obviously comes a point when my ability rope ends and I have nothing else but to rely on someone else. My relationship with God so often mirrors this exact scenario. I keep going on in my own ability or understanding until I burn out or get cynical because I can’t quite see past it, or I admit defeat.

Where does your rope end? Do you think you have a never-ending rope? Has it already ended? Jesus says: “You’re blessed when your rope ends.” Blessed, not in despair.

I know that when I feel my rope slipping from my hands, I start to panic. But this is the moment when God comes into His own. The moment we accept that our rope has ended is when the world sees God.

At the weekend I heard this beautiful quote: “Remember, whatever you do, give all glory and honour to the one who allowed you to do it.” In order to fulfil this, be at the end of your rope. Soak in the blessing of it because it is then you will see how truly amazing our God really is.

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