Romantic relationships can be one of the most beautiful experiences and partnerships a man and woman can share. But they can also be the most difficult.
I had the unusual task of sharing my search for this most treasured of relationships on national television when I became one of the faces of BBC3’s Strictly Soulmates, a series in which members of different faiths looked for their perfect partners.
Talk about pressure.
I found myself no longer relying on the natural tools I would normally have employed.
Instead I found myself extra cautious, slightly more nervous than usual and aware of my own frailties and insecurities.
I was sharing what would normally be a private and personal search on national television, with the knowledge that if anything went wrong it was about to be catapulted across the nation, beamed into people’s living rooms.
If there were going to be more embarrassing moments than the norm, it definitely wasn’t how I wanted to make my first mainstream TV debut.
Throughout the documentary, where I was intimately filmed every day for six months, I started to learn the importance of having a strong understanding of my purpose and calling in life. Because without understanding this information, I could very easily end up with the wrong person. It’s vitally important that the person you end up with is heading in the same direction as you.
As a TV presenter and filmmaker and constantly being involved heavily within the media industry, I understand the importance of being with someone who could handle that lifestyle. I had a number of women on the show who couldn’t wait to be on a date with me, either because they genuinely liked me and could foresee a future with me or because they couldn’t wait to have their five minutes of fame under the lens of cameras.
I realised the need to know who I am as a person and my self value because without it I could easily fall for anything and anyone.
Throughout my own personal journey, I’ve been aware of the much debated argument on whether or not The One exists. Is there one person for each of us, or can I choose my life partner based on instincts, attraction, shared values and spirituality?
I don’t believe there is necessarily a wrong or right view, but I do believe that the Bible clearly states that when a man finds a woman, he finds a good thing,
What this tells me is that, where the man is concerned, there has to be a search involved rather than a wait in the hope that God somehow causes your future wife to appear at your front door after 48 hours of prayer and fasting.
We live in a society and culture where everyone seems to be busy juggling a multitude of things. We have the highest percentage of marriage breakdowns, because we are just not spending quality time with our partners. I’ve become more aware of the need to make sure that when God blesses me with my future wife, I constantly find time to safeguard and develop our relationship by finding and creating time together to build what God has given to us.
I’m not against dating. I think it’s a good thing but I also strongly believe in the need and effectiveness of courtship. As much as it may seem to be a somewhat traditional practice, I have to confess that I am slightly traditional and I really believe it works and helps to enable you to get to know your potential life partner, step by step without you automatically moving ahead of yourself. Without the proper infrastructure of knowing or understanding each other, to the degree that would enable you to feel comfortable enough to take your relationship to the next level.
Even without the eyes of the nation watching you.